
Synopsis
Julian's led a fucked-up life, but he's a survivor and knows a thing or two about love, money, and relationships. If you use his advice, that's fine. But if you don't, he really doesn't give a fuck.
Episodes
1E1Government Dicks and Retirement ScrillaGot a fucking problem? Tell Dear Julian! In Episode 1 he gives advice on government fines, investing for a brighter retirement, and what's more important – your buddies or your wife.3m2E2Banging and PokeyAccidentally made your best friend's sister pregnant and don't know what the fuck to do? Tell Dear Julian...5m3E3Potatoes in a BucketJulian has advice for a lonely Swedish stoner, a wannabe muscleman, and a realtor trying to make it in the trailer park world!5m4E4Playing the Stripper GameJulian gives advice on how to get banged, how not to get banged, and how to deal with someone you don't want to bang!5m5E5Avoiding the Slippery Slope of ShitCan't get motivated to work out? Solve your problem with one very fucking weird trick! Julian also gives advice on controlling your dope habit, and why you should keep your lust in check on a first date.5m6E6Piss in the MilkJulian gives advice on how not to lose half your shit in marriage, handling a butter fucker-upper, and how his "Drunk as Fuck" technique can boost your self-esteem!4m7E7We'll Take Care of It... For $500Wanna know how to stay frisky, make pesky pets "disappear", and whether you should bang married dudes? Julian has the answer!6m8E8Awesome GreasyIs stripping a good career move? How can liquor get you to third base? How do you deal with a "Jacob"? Julian knows.5m9E9Cash Will Make You HappyJulian gives some good fuckin' advice on keeping warm in Canada, how a gamer can get his dick sucked, and why an ex-cop should get greasy!7m10E10Stop Your Fucking WhiningJulian tackles shitty kitties, asshole bosses, quitting the smokes... and some really fucking STUPID questions!7m11E11Pace Yourself, BudHas The Liquor become a way of life? Wanna quit drinking? Fuck that – Julian gives advice on the best ways to get shitfaced!8m12E12Go with the HashJulian gives advice on moving to Canada without a plan, dealing with fucked zombie-fearing neighbours, how to cope in jail, and retiring in your twenties!7m13E13How Not to Be a Fucking LoserJulian gives advice on overcoming writer's block, starting up a greasy bootlegging business, and how to get out and have fun when you can't be fucking bothered!6m14E14When Life Gives You a Kick to the CockShould I sell Grandma's engagement ring to buy honey oil? How can I discipline my fucked-up son? Should I invest my scrilla in China? Julian tackles these questions, and more!6m15E15Fuck the GovernmentShould I grow dope in my shed? How am I gonna cope in jail? Should I confront my shady neighbours? Julian has the answers!8m16E16Bang AwayShould I bang younger dudes? How do I deal with a douche moocher of a neighbour? Should I smoke hash, weed or honey oil? Julian gives out some more awesome advice!8m17E17Dick GenesJulian blasts through this week's pile of problems, including shitty tenants, shitty landlords, shitty neighbours, and shitty business ideas!8m18E18Toughen the Fuck UpJulian gives advice on whether to blackmail a greasy neighbour cheating on his wife, and what to do if you don't like to party but wanna make friends!8m19E19Get the Fuck Outta BedTo drink or not to drink? That is the fucking question! Also: I can't decide between a good job and smoking weed! I have ADD and can't get out of bed! I keep crying in the shower!7m20E20Fill Up That GutHow to deal with asshole brothers-in-law, dog thieves, greasy bosses and bad hangovers, and how not to get a job at SwearNet!7m21E21Get Banged, Get Drunk, Get HighJulian is back with advice on choosing a career path, dealing with ‘the one that got away,’ how to handle fucking assholes, and the best way to become a professional wrestler.11m22E22Move to SunnyvaleIt seems a lot of problems could be solved by doing a bit less bitching and a bit more banging. Julian has advice for the recently divorced, the infertile, and the cowardly. Plus: how Americans should deal with their fucked election.8m23E23Advice from Two Hungover DicksRicky joins Dear Julian as the Boys answer viewer questions and do their best to shake off a MEAN fucking hangover. Get advice on salvia, dealing with dicks, and what to do if you ever meet Lahey and Randy.16m24E24How to Not Piss YourselfThe rum is poured and Julian is answering your questions. He has advice on getting money that you are owed from your boss, what to do about shitty ex’s and shitty cousins, and most importantly - how to not piss yourself.5m25E25Finding the Proper Liquor LevelHaving a hard time being a businessman because you love your day-drinking too much? Have no tolerance for bullshit? Not sure how to ask out women? This episode of Dear Julian is for you!6m26E26Banging Away a Broken HeartJulian is drinkin’ and answerin’ again. The Dirty Dancer gives advice on hunting while drinking, dealing with a friend who turns into a dickhead with booze, and how to get over a breakup.6m27E27Merry Fucking ChristmasThe holiday season stresses everyone the fuck out. Luckily, Julian has a drink and some good advice. Learn how to handle shitty malls, what to do if your family is leaving you for the holidays, and whether you should buy booze or Trailer Park Boys merchandise.7m28E28Fuck It, It's ChristmasJulian is back with part two of his Dear Julian holiday questions, and he has advice on dealing with drunken uncles, drunk ass fathers, and drunk teenagers. Plus: is it a good idea to steal Christmas trees?6m
Cast
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