Synopsis
The unofficial celebrity biography of Mary-Kate Olsen, brought to spoiled rotten life by Elaine Carroll. Featuring Bodyguard, Fat Professor, and obscene wealth.
Episodes
1E1Moving OutI get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.1m2E2Moving DayMy bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.1m3E3BodyguardGot legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.2m4E4BabyI consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.2m5E5Baby DaddyBodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.2m6E6DepressedI’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.2m7E7HangoverI learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.2m8E8FightI know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.2m9
Philip Seymour HoffmanI get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.2m10
CatI decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.1m11
Back to SchoolI’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.2m12
ExtensionCan I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.1m13
PaperI ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.1m14
CrushIt’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.1m15
AshleyguardBut Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!2m16
NightmareQuiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!2m17
Zac EfronA date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!2m18Philip Seymour Hoffman 2Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.2m19
GunDo you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?2m
Philip Seymour HoffmanI get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.2m10CatI decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.1m11Back to SchoolI’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.2m12ExtensionCan I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.1m13PaperI ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.1m14CrushIt’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.1m15AshleyguardBut Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!2m16NightmareQuiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!2m17Zac EfronA date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!2m18Philip Seymour Hoffman 2Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.2m19GunDo you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?2mCast
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